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You've never seen my place before," she coaxed. "Besides, I have a present for you I forgot to bring over." No innuendo there. It was a toss-up which one of us was getting the more flustered. "I know I'm a scary girl and all, but I promise: I don't bite." This whole one-sided exchange was driving me crazy. My brain was screaming at me, will you please be civil and just get the fuck out of the car and visit for a few minutes? I was balking, you know damn well what always happens then. Br-ring, br-ing. Or br-ring br-ing. Or chirp chirp chirp. Of course I was reacting from blind instinct. Once the argument entered the realm of terror of travel, the fabric of my logic was moth-eaten. I sensed something wrong with the shifting of ground but I felt so drained I surrendered. The whole of me got out of the car. There was that relief. The scene had started feeling as though I'd be spending the next ten years of my life sitting in the car refusing to get out of the car.I apologized as we went. "Yes Ma'am," he said, right back to her. "I'll get right on it." Even as he said it, he reached over and smacked my ass, while my mom looked on with glee.She walked out the door a few minutes later, grinning like a demented Cheshire cat.As soon as the door closed behind her I slapped Reid on the head. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked. "When did WE decide that it was time for us to start our family? My mother does not get to decide what happens with MY body. I mean, I know that you've been sucking her dick to stay on her good side, and I love you for that. But this is something that WE have to be ready for. We can't just start spitting out kids because my mother wants us to have kids now, so she can be a hot grandma." Here's my logic," he began. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My husband's logic is not logical. He's the same guy who decided that since that price of superchargers seemed to increase with every generation, he should invest six thousand dollars.
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